After talking to a few therapists, it doesn’t even seem like the worst idea.
Picture this: Your long-term partner has just dumped you. You’re picturing your first day alone passed out in bed or faking a fake smile while friends take you out on the town to celebrate your newfound (and unwanted) “freedom” – and then your ex proposes the exact opposite. “Are you in the mood for a breakup vacation?”. Although the concept seems unlikely, Justine Sebbag, a 26-year-old journalist living in Paris, ended up on her own breakup holiday after ending her relationship with her boyfriend of five years the day before planned holiday in the south of France.
It was the summer of 2021, and despite realizing how bad the timing was, she still felt that something about her relationship was “not right”. Normally, she figured this would ruin her vacation plans (which were also a work trip for both of them), but her ex asked her if she wanted to go anyway, hoping that she might change your mind. “It was a bit awkward at first because we didn’t know how to act – Should we kiss? Shall we have sex? I did and it was honestly the coolest,” says Sebbag. “During the vacation, we had many deep discussions about the last five years, about our doubts and what we wanted in a relationship.”
Instead of changing his mind, the vacation actually cemented his idea of a breakup. She looks back fondly on her unplanned “breakup vacation” and is sure it made the breakup a lot easier for her in the long run. “Instead of breaking up after a long talk, we took the time to properly break up over the course of a week, somewhere that wasn’t too personal. We enjoyed delicious meals and enjoyed each other’s company before going our separate ways,” she says. “As time goes on, I realize how healing this longer separation was. I think it’s a great way to end a healthy, long-term relationship.”
Sebbag and her ex aren’t the only couple to say goodbye to their relationship with a vacation. While it’s still somewhat unconventional (let’s be honest, we all know an ex-couple who clearly shouldn’t try this), on TikTok couples are going viral after sharing their breakup vacation experiences, and even the faster, more efficient version in terms of pre-planned “last date” costs. “My boyfriend and I are breaking up in two weeks. We had a wonderful weekend break,” writes one creator as she holds hands with her partner in a clip that has now gone viral. “It was painful and healing at the same time.”
While online “breakup vacation” content is undeniably dramatic — and often feels like both parties are just rubbing salt into their wounds for views — Lexx Brown-James, a sex therapist in Pennsylvania, says it’s common for couples who trying to “consciously uncouple” AKA a relatively amicable separation. “From my observations, these people come out of a situation with mutual agreement and purpose … more